How to overcome your composure?

Hello, I have not been able to shed tears for a long time and it doesn’t matter how much I hurt and offended that up to 14 years I couldn’t hold back tears I was very vulnerable but at 15 I lost the ability to cry thereby relieving myself 3 years I can not shed and tears once I found my first love and exactly 2 years passed as we broke up my heart started to hurt due to the fact that I could not ease my sufferings I was constantly trying to hold other people suffering myself I began to wish myself for death since from the moment of rupture i stop I can rejoice, but not for a long time it turns out artificially, I cannot rejoice with my whole soul, otherwise I begin to pursue pain in my heart and due to the fact that I cannot shed and tears my condition worsens to such the extent that I wish to give my life in exchange for another, why can't I be relieved? I can not burst into tears, but to speak out or other actions do not help me. I became such a person who wants to save another life, but at the same time giving up my own and it doesn’t matter to me whether I die or kill.
There are 4 answers
Butterfly
Butterfly
Answered on March 17, 2015 21:34
Hello Maxim. I imagine and understand how you feel. And really, what happened at the age of 15? This is most likely, and left an imprint on what is happening to you now. Look how it happened: you were like a raging volcano of emotions, sharply reacting to what is happening around you, which is, in general, normal and typical of adolescence. Then something happened, and this volcano seemed to be pummeled tightly with very strong material. But emotions haven't gotten away from this! You give them a way out, and they tear you apart from the inside, therefore they negatively affect your condition, well-being and mental health, which can affect your physical condition. You set this emotional barrier to yourself, drove yourself there, and every day it became stronger and stronger. No wonder that now you can't get rid of him so easily. Until you give your negative emotions a way out, you will not be cleansed and you will not be able to look at life with a fresh look. I can advise you the following, if you follow and try everything, gradually you will be free, and everything will work out for you: 1. First stop feeding yourself the negative.In my soul, and so there was a lot of sadness, pain and emptiness, which settled there firmly. For a little bit, but add little things to your life that brings at least some joy and pleasure. Let it be always, even in the gray days. When everything is bad, arrange something good for yourself, but definitely! Further, nobody is insured from the negative, so you need to learn how to perceive it more easily. In this sense, it is useful to think not about our negative emotions, but about how this negative can be corrected or even ignored. For example, the conductor in the trolley bus was cheated for nothing. A complete ignore is needed here - she doesn’t know you, doesn’t affect your life in any way, you hardly see her anymore, and if you see, she won’t remember, so there’s no point in worrying. Mentally build a dome around you, on which all insults and evil words are broken. And that's it, don't think about it. More difficult is the situation when relatives are offended or something serious is going wrong in life. They can be wrapped up to their advantage. Swearing in the family - think, why? People from the disadvantages of more noticeable than you yourself. And instead of making trouble, wasting time and energy, you can think about what you are doing wrong, and correct.Try not to swear and do not stoop to insults - then you will feel nasty. If it doesn’t do well with work or school - it's time to test your willpower, strain your brain and figure out how to get out of it. The forces spent on possible emotions, focus on finding a solution to the problem. At the same time you gain experience and become stronger. 2. Conversations for your condition - somehow softly. You need a strong shake, or even a few, so that you can get out of your emotions. I would not go to a psychologist - well, how can you trust a stranger who will tell you the standard (especially since you can find the necessary information for free and use it)? Moreover, their services are not the cheapest, the result is not guaranteed at all. You have strong emotional armor, which means you need a powerful way. I advise something with adrenaline. Do not spare money for a parachute jump, a catapult will also work (not bad in St. Petersburg) or something like that. Try what's outside of your familiar world. And at the moment of tension, let the emotions out - shout, cry, whatever. Here are some of the situations you need to arrange. so your “armor” will be thinned even a little bit.Then start adding something that causes different emotions in a person, and react to them a little more openly than usual. Well, as an example - a heavy film-drama at home alone, from which tears well up. And cry as much as you like. In the same way, you need to find something positive so that you want to smile. 3. You need a close creature. Surely you are a very lonely person, you don’t allow anyone to get close to yourself, you hide, you are afraid that you won’t understand, will not accept, condemn, send, etc. You need someone who will become close) the best friend with whom you need to strengthen the relationship, the girl who will love you - that she would be a real catalyst in the process of curing you) Well, that's as lucky, of course. A simpler option is to have a pet. You need to see and feel love towards you, you will be cured by love. We need someone who will look with admiration and kindness, who will be sensitive and tender, will always understand and support, will never give up. Next to such a person you will open. PS: In the process of cleaning up the accumulated negative you can not always behave adequately. You can experience a lot of emotions at a time, things can go slower than you expect, in short, a lot of things can happen.This is normal - then everything is normalized, the main thing is not to do big things.
Best
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
I am very grateful for your advice, but I have already tried it. 1. I always keep calm my usual state is neutral, that is, I don’t pay attention to anything that would offend me or humiliate me very rarely break I had joy until a certain moment, now I’m used to complete peace of mind even the death of a loved one did not affect me in any way I absolutely did not feel what I didn’t feel not the bitterness of loss, not what I’m trying to smile as much as possible. no matter how important that person is happy and smiles I have trained themselves to protect and help others, no matter how much harm to myself will I ever sacrificed something that the person would smile. 2. Shakes were more than once, but in the end it all came down to the fact that I started to eat my own emotions, it became unpleasant to my heart and pain in my heart reappeared, which literally made me mad, I risked my life and it became a routine for me in the most extreme situations II constantly keep cool in order to soberly assess the situation and save my neighbors without relying on the price I end up paying. 3. Yes, in this you were right. I am alone in myself and I am not looking for a way out of it. Since I cannot experience the feeling of love, no matter how hard I tried, I can’t hurt my neighbor when I didn’t want to hurt others and now I don’t want animals, I have a lot of animals, but I can show them only pity and compassion for a man, I cannot show compassion and pity, because I have lost all faith in the fact that there are still people who do not think of themselves, but first think of their loved ones.
Answered March 17, 2015 10:51 PM, Butterfly |
Butterfly
Butterfly
What influenced you so much, what happened at the age of 15? Such abrupt changes could not happen just like that. I will soon begin to incline to something irrational in this matter) It would be nice to see you live. You have not met in the life of true love yet. First love - not the most ideal, to be honest. We must at least try to overpower ourselves - this is me not to allow emotions to overwhelm myself from the inside, it is necessary to find a way out for them, otherwise it could be worse.
Answered March 18, 2015 12:46, Butterfly |
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
From the age of 15, I taught myself to heartache that would make it easier to endure it, tears disappeared, I began to suppress negative emotions, and the emotional background plummeted, I was able to return to normal, but after the break, I began to strenuously suppress negative emotions so that in the end I don’t go crazy for 2 years with pain in my heart, it’s not sweet to live and in cases of this I finally suppressed my emotions, reducing my emotional background to the limit and then trying to recover, echoed with pain and interruptions in heart work and I broke a lot in myself in relationships that would make them perfect and not limit my partner and put in quite a few efforts to break everything in myself and stop my sufferings, so that my partner could live well and in the end all attempts to alleviate their sufferings were reduced to no, every year pain literally drives me crazy and not to speak out and nothing can be done.
Answered March 18, 2015 23:26, Butterfly |
Butterfly
Butterfly
It was not necessary to do this. So I say that you drove yourself into such a state. We ought to be a little easier.As for relations with the opposite sex, over time you realize that you need to look for not only the one with whom you are good, but also the one with whom you can be yourself. If you have to change yourself and you do not feel that you are better and well from these changes, that you like them, then the person is not the same. I also had a man for whom I redrawed myself, stepping on my own song's throat. And I was miserable, even though I loved. It kills self-esteem, blocks you. True love is possible with whoever accepts you for who you are, with all the cockroaches) And if you change for the sake of such a person, then not under duress, but by itself, and you like these changes. You drove yourself there - you can get yourself out of there. Slowly, a little bit will turn out. Still need to become a little more open to others.
Answered March 19, 2015 16:38, to Maxim Mosin |
Northern owlet
Northern owlet
Answered on March 17, 2015 18:14
We must figure out what happened at the age of 15, why you can't cry. In fact, tears - only one of the options for the expression of emotions, I do not understand why it does not help you just talk heart to heart. Try to go to a psychologist, talk about your feelings, maybe it will become easier.
Best
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
I agree with you that there are many ways to express your emotions, but that I would not try everything to no purpose.
Answered on March 17, 2015 18:57, to the North owl |
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
Answered on March 17, 2015 18:14
Let's talk about this topic. What time will you be comfortable?
Best
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
I am almost always free.
Answered on March 17, 2015 18:57, best_or_nothing |
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
OK. Then a question for you: what do you want?
Answered March 18, 2015 10:36, best_or_nothing |
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
I want to help me figure out what the problem of composure is; they advised me something and I will try to follow these points.
Answered on March 18, 2015 11:45, best_or_nothing |
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
Tell us what are your plans for today, week, month, half a year (you shouldn’t go further now).
Answered March 18, 2015 11:47, best_or_nothing |
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
You can rejoice in all that, and then how it goes.
Answered March 18, 2015 12:42, best_or_nothing |
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
For example, what do you want to enjoy? And for what? And any other specific plans, tasks, desires?
Answered March 18, 2015 12:48, best_or_nothing |
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
Listen to music and watch others
Answered on March 18, 2015 23:28, best_or_nothing |
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
Why are you watching others? What kind of music do you like? Have you ever heard something that you don’t like?
Answered March 19, 2015 10:29, best_or_nothing |
Butterfly
Butterfly
I also listen to music and watch others)
Answered March 19, 2015 16:29, Maxim Mosin |
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
Maxim, are you still here?)
Answered on March 20, 2015 15:39, best_or_nothing |
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
Yes, I'm here asking for the wait. I like to watch people, I can see in their eyes from the actions of facial expressions whether they are thinking about something well or, on the contrary, they tell me to like it. Also, when you help a person, he dedicates you to his past, and you experience his past for me, it is important that somehow I help a person to learn something new and when you visually experience the future of others, all his pain and all his joy is indescribable :) I listen to music so that I would not hear anyone, and not why I would not be disturbed, that is why I love the night and can not stand the day :)
Answered on March 20, 2015 16:28, best_or_nothing |
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
I can not listen to music that I do not like :)
Answered on March 20, 2015 16:29, best_or_nothing |
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
All right, don't apologize. Maxim - you are a funny person! You are interested and you notice such moments past which many run past! What is this composure? You are a sensitive person! Even I felt a rough and cynical warmth that ran through your lines. It's cool! That is, you see, when a person is not well, that is, you feel it? And, by the way, a banal question, what kind of music do you listen to?)
Answered 20 march 2015 16:41, best_or_nothing |
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
My composure lies in the fact that I can calmly take a person’s life if he is a threat to friends or my family. I can’t experience it, fearing harm he needs carry as much happiness as he wants, in other words, was afraid of your past and repeat it, I do not think a normal person can look calmly into the eyes of a dying man does not think a normal person is able to easily say goodbye to life,to protect a person who does not know.
Answered on March 20, 2015 17:20, best_or_nothing |
Maxim Mosin
Maxim Mosin
I am a music lover)
Answered on March 20, 2015 17:20, best_or_nothing |
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
In the sense of "take a person's life"? Are you ready to break the law and commit murder? Or something else mean? And the sense to be afraid? Afraid of what? Of the past? It will not happen again, if you don’t want it, if you follow the same route, then, of course, it will happen again, you choose your own way and adjust it as necessary, of course, if you want it. Afraid not to satisfy the next person and not to bring happiness? Yes, now, most likely, you are not ready for relationships and deep sympathy, you still understand yourself. What you want and how to achieve it. And, most importantly, whether it is necessary for you and whether it will bring you real benefit, will it not be self-deception ... You can be afraid all you want, but what’s the point? If you like a person, you will definitely find a way to make him happy. Is this not happiness? Go ahead, do not stop, develop, do not be afraid, fear binds, it is useless. When the feeling of happiness comes, you will definitely feel it.

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