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MWe are all accustomed to the opinion that men want only one thing - sex. They literally sleep and see how to get up to someone under the skirt. It seems that only sexual maniacs are spinning around us. Let's not argue that testosterone is a powerful thing and can hit in the head about the first, like. But most of the representatives of the strong half of humanity are perfectly normal people. They may want to talk to a woman heart to heart, and the stereotype makes you crawl under the skirt. Do not climb - not a man. You are the first label and hang.
Poor men simply have to conform to the stereotypes created by society. What if he likes to cook and cross stitch. But, shhhh, nobody can talk about this! This is a purely female occupation. He is supposed to swing his biceps, cheer on the football team and pounding his fist on the table. Men are constantly under stress. After all, they have to do something all the time: to provide for the family, to deal with the neighbor granny, to have sex with you.Even the definition is such - marital debt. And debt - this is what you need to give, but do not want to. So much so that men become reluctant to do all this. Including, have sex. Yes Yes. And physiology with testosterone is not helpers here. In adolescence, it can be, and in mature age, something else is completely important.
Why does laziness arise, even in such an important process for men as sex. What is laziness in general? For this you need to figure out when it arises. Ask yourself when you were too lazy to do something. No, not after a hard day at work - this laziness is just a manifestation of your tiredness. By the way, men can also get tired. And if you need sex at 2 o'clock at night, and get him up at 6, do not rely on the rapid expression of emotions.
We're talking about another laziness, about that one, when you had both time and strength, but didn't you do something? In what situation did this happen? That's right, when you had to do some kind of action. You should, but you did not want to. Why? The answer is obvious - because you had to perform this action under duress. It went against your desires.
Those. when we are forced to do something, a defense mechanism is activated based on the negative emotions that are caused by this coercion. There is laziness.It is based, for example, on the insult - they make me, but I will not do it out of spite. Or feeling guilty, when they expose me to blame for not doing this. No one wants to be a debtor and guilty. If you want to discourage a person from the whole hunt to do something, then this is the surest way. Perhaps you have noticed, also, that at work, when your merits are not marked in any way - you become too lazy to do anything. Too lazy to take the initiative. These same feelings govern sexual desires. The phrase "you should" can scare away even the most hungry man from sex. Because sex, this is an area where he does not have to, but wants. Those. has a natural desire. And it is this desire, which arose naturally, that turns him on.
Moreover, his merits should also be noted. Because if from your side, sex is perceived as a marital debt, then your partner will know for sure that you should not take the initiative. It may seem to you that here we are talking about some wrong men, men with sexual disabilities who need to go to a sexologist. But, very many men and their wives, having found out from a sexologist, that from a physiological point of view, they are all in perfect order, are forced to go to psychologists. Because the problem is in the head.
We personally witnessed when such couples turned to us for help, precisely because of the fact that the husband was too lazy to turn his sexual attention to his wife. The reason was always the same - too much sense of duty and too few positive emotions. Therefore, please your men more, they deserve it.
© Alexandra Ivanova. Psychologist.