Technique raising self-esteem

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I would like to share with you a technique compiled by me based on the methods of NLP and cognitive psychology. The technique is well suited for remote work, while it combines the trance work of the unconscious with conscious analysis. The method is tested in remote consulting. I wish you a pleasant acquaintance with yourself)

1) Often we don’t want to accept any parts of our personality, and therefore we only know our strengths from the weak side. Write down your qualities (weaknesses) with which you are trying to cope. Take your time - take time for it. And then to each point - the opposites of these qualities.

2) Further I suggest you rank this list of opposites in importance for you.

There is an easy way to do this: write each item from the list of opposites on a separate piece of paper. Then a small ritual - without haste, tear each piece of paper, realizing - that tearing it up - you refuse to have this item in your life.Keep track of - which of the papers the hand does not rise to tear. P / S - try to be honest with yourself - leave intact only those pieces of paper that are really hard to break.

3) Track the sensations of your body when doing the exercise

4) A bit of theory: We spend a lot of energy on creating in ourselves something that is socially conscious (alien at a specific life stage for our personality, but at the same time prevalent and cultivated in the society around us). We are unique in our unique compatibility of the strengths and weaknesses of our personality, and this is my not yet refuted observation — the first thing that begins when a person harmonizes and copes with difficult life situations: from accepting ourselves. If we express in one phrase: "In our weaknesses - our strength." The end of the theory.

The next (penultimate) part of the exercise (according to the list the HAND did not rise to

5) A descriptive portrait of the girl who with respect and love accepted these needs — opposites, which the hand did not rise to — and does everything to satisfy them: a descriptive portrait is made from a third person (as if looking from the side)

P / S.I cite the female version of the technique (using questions on the lexical form addressed to the woman, but everything written is true for men)

Before making a descriptive portrait of a few important points: - It is only for you (it is not necessary to share it, but it is possible - to enhance the effect of acceptance, and only when you are ready to share it and not before) - Answer all questions honestly - from the position of that a girl who has the opportunity to be herself and do what she wants, to react as she wants - All questions are essential - the answers to them are obligatory, the fuller - the better. The required time is not less than an hour. By and large, it will start the process, but I would recommend taking a whole day to think and answer honestly.

1) What is her name

2) Who does she like to work; Does she like to work alone, in a team, from home, with or without a boss

3) What she likes to do in her free time, how she spends it

4) In what places she likes to be

5) What type of character does she like to communicate with?

6) How much time she devotes to sleep, rest

7) What are her hobbies?

8) What clothes does she like to wear?

9) What colors does she prefer?

10) What kind of decor and interior does she like

11) How she loves to express her feelings and emotions

12) What prefers ways of learning new things, what she wants to learn, what she likes to learn

13) Which she likes sex and which men

14) How does she relate to money; how much money does she need to feel good

15) What she prefers: stability or change

16) Does she love to make or receive gifts; prefers to listen or say compliments

17) What classes prefers: active or passive; contemplative or creative. Does she like to combine.

18) What kind of cosmetic and health treatments does she like?

19) What kind of music she likes to listen to, what books to read, what movies to watch

20) What she allows herself not to do

21) From what she will allow and allow herself to escape

22) What kind of disadvantages does she give indulgence

23) How she reacts when she is lonely; how to use it

24) How she reacts when she is given complete freedom; how to use it

25) How does she allow herself to react to injustice

26) Whom will she allow herself not to trust, and to whom she will allow herself to be trusted

27) How she allows herself to endure pain, resentment, fear

28) What emotions does she allow herself

29) What is she afraid of?

30) What is most important to her in people

31) What she believes 32) What supports and strengthens her

33) Until how old she wants to live

34) What awaits her after death

35) What is the meaning of life for her

36) What she really wants to believe

37) What would she ask for a Higher Power?

38) What would she throw out of her life: what people, what things, what events

39) What she would keep and cherish in her life: what people, what things, what events

40) Which character (movie, book) is like the one described above?

I want to add, if during the assignment you want to mourn, cry or feel sorry for yourself - this is normal. You can safely afford it and not feel at the same remorse. Accepting your emotions and allowing them to be is one of the very important moments of a healthy mind. You have a huge potential, but it is very individual and definitely will not resemble the potential of another person. And this applies to all. You can take your time - take as much time as you need.

6) So: the final part of the exercise.

It is called the message to itself:

You have a description of that part of you that you could not refuse - to break. And this is very good!!!

In peace and quiet, find the opportunity to write this part of yourself a letter. Emotions can be experienced by anyone, including crying or, on the contrary, experiencing relief))) The content may obey the impulse of the soul, but for example:

My dear, / name /! Thank you that I have you and you are doing such an important job for me that allows me to preserve my uniqueness and originality. I allow you to have your weaknesses and weaknesses and at the same time appreciate your strengths as you list what the most valuable thing is in this part. I really want to make friends with you in order to allow all your best qualities to be revealed. I am ready to cooperate with you and accept you in all your diversity and allow myself and you to be imperfect, to make mistakes, learn from them and get pleasure from this cooperation and see in it the potential for development and self-realization. With love and respect, I treat you with your name, since you helped me overcome many life situations. I need those resources that are hidden in you and ask for cooperation to improve the quality of my life and preserve my uniqueness ....Further in the same vein, I believe that you will develop together with me and give me strength, you will be my guardian angel, protecting and protecting me, supporting me in difficult times.

It is very important to find sincere and resonating words in you.

In order to thank this part of you, allow her and herself to be herself, ask her for cooperation, assistance and resources. It hides access to your most powerful resources, opportunities, your uniqueness and identity. Create a dialogue with her, make her your assistant and guardian angel.

Save this message, firstly - it will be a resource for you, and secondly, the dialogue can be continued.


Through the steps of this technique, we gain access to the unconscious layer of our aspirations (steps 1-3). Next, we train our consciousness to establish contact with that part of our inner mind, which, regardless of your desire, strives to fulfill these needs, though often not in the best way. In these needs lies a powerful stock of energy and motivation, to which we turn in step 6 of the technology.

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